• Ruth Barstow

Ghosting ain't cool, except on Halloween.

Updated: Nov 24, 2019


In the aftermath of Halloween, here’s a spooky story for you.

I once spent 6 weeks interviewing with a company. I was assigned an email address, a desk, and started working (as a contractor!) on some projects. A week and a half after I started, my email was disabled, all account access was shut off, and I never heard from them again. Radio Silence.

I was ghosted.

Halloween ghosts are cool. Ghosting humans are not. Whether it’s an employer, friend, or significant other doesn’t really matter. It’s incredible how doing nothing speaks volumes to what little (none!) respect you have for someone. No call. No email. No text. No passive aggressive social media rant. Just. Nothing.

Ghosting culture is a real drag and it’s taking over. The cowardly lion in all of us is driving the bus. Have to break up with someone but don’t want to have that convo? Awesome! Ghost ‘em. Decided to move on with your life and bail on your bff of 4 years? Easy. Just stop texting. Changed your mind about that employee you’ve hired? Cool. Just disable their email and key card and don’t answer their calls.

When did sending an email or taking 2 minutes to have a conversation (that may or may not be uncomfortable) become a fate worse than death? I don’t understand the behavior.

What I do understand is how it makes me feel: that I’m not worth any amount of time or effort to be treated with a modicum of respect or dignity. That I’m disposable and of zero value. That you can’t be bothered to do the right thing. And that, my friends, is not a great feeling.

Suffice to say, if you ghost me, you’re dead to me. D-E-A-D.

I don’t know if there’s really anyone or anything that can be held accountable for this behavior (Social Media? The President? Our Parents? Pumpkin Spice Lattes?) but as for me (and my house), I hold the Ghost accountable.

One of the delicate skills we must learn as highly-functioning humans is how to deliver bad news with tact and grace. It ain’t easy, we get it. But, like, there are ways to cope. You know when you have to give notice at a job and you get the pit in your tummy and the pricks of sweat under your arms? That fucking sucks. But do you also remember the whoosh of relief that comes afterwards? You got that monkey off your back! You did a hard thing and survived it! You feel like a fuckin’ boss. So why is it so hard to do the damn thing when you know afterwards you’ll be relieved?

Here at A Little Humerus, we put our company culture at the top of our priorities. We’ve each survived jobs that made us miserable. You know you need to quit your job when you contemplate causing a car accident every morning on your way to work, deliberating what type of wreck you could cause that wouldn’t leave you permanently disfigured but will still get you out of work for several days.

Yeah, don’t do that.

While we both require other jobs to keep our lives afloat, the dream of full-time greeting card design is still in the forefront of our minds. Entrepreneurship is hard as frick, y’all. Much harder than working for someone else, most of the time. But creating a business that you love and can be proud of? That’s worth the suffering.

Ghosting is just bad manners. Period. Be a better human. Send a card.

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